Learning to Eat

I have been feeling overwhelmed with myself lately.  With the fact that I am overweight, and I really "need to do something" about it.  I go on diets and quickly fail.  My desire for that instant gratification of the bite of food quickly overwhelms the desire to one day down the road be skinny.  I was realizing I am addicted to food.  This thought is overwhelming in itself.  How do you abstain from something that you have to have?  As hard as it may be, an alcoholic can abstain from alcohol, a drug addict can abstain from drugs, but a food addict?  I have to eat, how do I balance this?  Feeling so overwhelmed, I left myself there, with some knowledge that I am an addict, but with no action plan.  No way of knowing what to do next.  And there I stayed, trying to watch what I ate, but failing daily.  Feeling guilty and like a failure.

Then I went to a one day church conference.  There were a few people that shared how God has met them in their struggles.  One person in particular shared an amazing story of how she is conquering bulimia.  She spoke of her desire for food and binging and the instant gratification that it brought, the short term pleasure that it brings.  How she sought that pleasure over the pleasure of seeking the glory of God.  Wow, that struck me!  I am seeking the instant gratification, the self pleasure of food, the instant that it lasts over God.  Over glorifying Him with my body!  Gluttony.

Ok, so I have had this realization and I quickly come to the conclusion that I shouldn't be on a diet.  Meaning that food rules, diet and exercise will not solve this problem for me.  They will only be rules addressing the outward manifestation of my sin.  Some people have sins that reside entirely inside of them, mine resides on the outside, in something I see when I look in the mirror everyday, in the form of 50 pounds of excess weight.  So, I have decided that I am not going to diet.  I need to focus on my heart.  In glorifying God by treating my body the way it should be treated.

A few weeks ago one of my pastors was preaching on taking up your cross, and choosing to suffer.  Choosing to deny yourself for the glory of God.  Now I sit here, still feeling overwhelmed, not by a number of pounds I need to loose, but at where to start.  How do I learn to eat all over again?  How do I eat to the glory of God?

These things I know:
God knows my tribulation, and I should not fear my suffering (Revelation 2:8 and 10)
Those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.  To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.  For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law, indeed it cannot.  Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.  You, however are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. (Romans 8: 5-9)

My flesh, this 50 pounds of excess flesh, is the result of setting my mind on the things of the flesh.
I feel like I need an action plan.  I would say, a list of rules that I need to live by.  But here is what I need instead, prayer!
I need to be open to others about my heart, my struggles, and temptations.
I need to pray, daily, hourly even for my desire to glorify God to grow, especially when it comes to glorifying him through my body.
I need to memorize scripture that will help me in this struggle.

I am, for now especially, going to put the scale away.  The numbers on it will not tell me where my heart is.

If anyone reads this, please help encourage me, ask me how I am doing.  Bring me verses that will help me in this struggle.